Aaahh, the dreaded hair loss. This is one of the scariest parts of chemo for most people (I say most because like I have said previously, everyone deals with a cancer diagnosis and what comes with it completely differently). For me, it was the first thing that entered my head, if I would lose my hair. It's mad when you think about it really because you'd imagine the first thing you would think of is the actual prognosis and how advanced the tumour was. Like, I thought about losing my hair before I thought about the fact this could have been serious enough to kill me, as dramatic of a statement that may seem, that actually could have been a possibility.
They told me in the hospital to expect hair loss after my 2nd session of chemotherapy. The lady in the Wig Clinic told me when I was choosing my wig that it happens around 14 days after the first round, which would be the day of my second chemo. I'm not going to lie about it or try and sugarcoat it, it is a horrendous experience to lose your hair. When I was diagnosed, my friend, a cancer survivor also, told me straight out how horrific it is and to be honest I was glad she did. It prepared me a little, if you can ever really be prepared for it. The day before my 2nd chemo was when it began for me. I felt a few strands in my hand, I wasn't sure whether it was just normal, the few hairs that always fall out, or the actual start of the chemo hair loss because it was so soon. The more times I ran my fingers through my hair, the more strands that came. That was it, it was time, so I asked Mam to ring the lady in the Wig Clinic immediately and arrange for me to go over, the following day, the day of my second chemo, 9th December, 2016. I decided to have my hair shaved and donate it to the Rapunzel foundation. I had long, ginger hair and I had quite a struggle to find a wig close enough to my hair colour so I wouldn't have too dramatic of a change. So rather than let my hair just fall out and go in the bin, I decided I would like to try and help someone somewhere else along the way. 26 ponytails to make a wig, so every little helps. I'm not saying this is for everybody, or everybody should do that but I found it extremely comforting, at such a difficult time, to make an effort to help someone else, but to also take some sort of control over what cancer and chemo were doing to me. I took my Mam with me, both of us were extremely strong and no tears were shed during the head shave. I did shed a few that evening with Brendan but other than that, it was a much more positive experience than I was expecting. Now, even though I shaved my head, it wasn't completely gone either. The lady in The Wig Clinic recommended to not have it shaved fully, so I took her advice. This meant, I did still in fact still go through my hair falling out in stages but I think it would have been much harder coming out in long clumps rather than the little short bits I had. Having said that, the amount of hair that fell out was just crazy. It was everywhere. On my pillows, sheets, clothes, everywhere I looked. I had little soft cotton caps that I wore because I didn't want anybody to see my hair or see my bald head and they used to be completely covered on the inside with hair. It took a while to be completely bald. I had patches all over my head for a while. A lot of my hair loss happened during a hospital stay. I nearly lost my life after a shower one night and I looked at all my hair all over the floor of the shower. I raced to clean it up and dump it because I was embarrassed and didn't want the nurses to see. Silly of me really when I think back on it, obviously I would clean it but there was no real need to be embarrassed because naturally enough the nurses are used to this. Funny story - there was an absolute dote of a lady working in the ward cleaning and bringing me my food and all, she looked after me like a pet and she was a gas character, she'd have you laughing all the time. On she toddled in to clean my room or something of the sort and my wig was on it's little stand on a shelf just inside the bathroom door. She thought there was someone in there. I actually thought she was going to pass out she got such a fright, her reaction was priceless and of course I got a great laugh out of it. Maybe that was a need to be there moment to actually be funny, but little things like this, as a cancer patient, can really brighten your day, so allow yourself to laugh at silly things, you'll always remember them.... eventually.... when chemo brain starts to wear off haha. Then I was bald.... Wow that was a shock. Seeing my reflection in the mirror was often terrifying, but as with everything you learn to get used to it I suppose. I wore my wig out in public 99% of the time. I was comfortable enough to chill at home and with friends with no wig. That is what worked for me. So whatever you decide, be it to experiment with wigs, embrace the new bald look, go with hats or have fun with head scarves, make sure you feel comfortable because this will really help through chemo. When you look good, you feel better in my eyes. I learned to have fun with the bald look through snapchat filters too. However funny you may think you look with a funny filter, I can guarantee you they are 100 times funnier with no hair. My memory roll is hilarious. We always slag Daddy about his white hair and we make the usual jokes but now there were two of us with white heads, just slightly different. Daddy has alopecia so he knows all too well about the whole hair loss so in a way that helped me to accept my loss of hair and just go with it when I was at home. Of course we took a few selfies of our two little white heads along the way. I genuinely thought at the beginning I would never take my wig off in front of people. I told the lady in the Wig Clinic that it would only come off when I was in my room, going to bed and I wouldn't be seen. She said straight out that that wouldn't happen and she was right. Wearing the wig, believe it or not, can be quite tiring. If I was having a day where I was feeling fatigued, the last thing I wanted to do was put the wig on. I was lucky because 9 times out of 10 the wig was fine, I wouldn't even know I was wearing it, but the odd time I would get a headache from wearing it so I was glad I felt comfortable enough to take it off in front of family and friends. The biggest perk of the wig was when I was going out. I used to go and get my make up done and one of my besties used to take it and curl it/ style it for me. So when I would come back after getting my make up done, all I would have to do is slip the wig on and I was ready for out. The girls were all jealous of this perk haha. Not only do you lose the hair on your head, but you lose every last bit of hair on your body, from head to toe. From the neck down, this was great, actually it was a dream, because it meant to shaving/ waxing etc for the whole duration of treatment. Losing the eyebrows and eyelashes was not a dream, it was a bloody nightmare. Now I know we all went through that phase where we hadn't discovered how to fill in our eyebrows and it looked like we had none anyways, and I'm not sure about any other groups but back in the day, we also thought it was cool to be wearing Ms. Sporty clear mascara. Thank God for Bebo shutting down and there being no photographic evidence of this time haha. But in 2017, the eyebrows need to be 'on fleek' as they say and sure we wouldn't be leaving the house without some mascara. It was close enough to the end of chemo when both my brows and lashes started to fall out and this was tough. I had now completely become a blank canvas. I had to learn very quickly how to draw on my brows and to use eyeliner to hide the fact I had no lashes. My Benefit brow products and waterproof liner became my best friends and I would not leave the house without them, for fear my eyes would water too much or I would wipe my brows off. As soon as my 20 weeks of chemo were up, my hair started to grow back almost immediately. I honestly can't believe how soon after it stopping that the regrowth process begins. It's a great feeling to know it's starting to come back because it is a sure sign you're starting to get your body back. I took photos of my hair along the way to document progress and it is just amazing to see how much it grows from one month to the next. Fast forward a bit, and here I am now, 4 and a half months post chemo. I have hair everywhere again. I've had to get my eyebrows done, twice actually and I've even had to get my hair cut. Another one of my besties took to my hair and gave it a much needed trim. I'm telling ye, I'm one lucky gal, the girls are great for the pampering. Between my hair, face and nails, the girls have been troopers for helping me feel and look good throughout all of this, they really are 'dah bomb.' It's funny because losing my hair was hard, but having it grow back is a lot tougher than I expected, as strange as that may sound. I am absolutely delighted to have hair, don't get me wrong, but for me, I have found/ am finding the whole new short hair look very hard to get used to. I made a decision almost two weeks ago that it was time to say goodbye to the wig. It has been put back in its box, along with its stand, and hopefully been put away for good. Between the heat, and the amount of hair I now have on my head, wearing the wig wasn't as easy anymore. My head was getting itchy and sore so I knew it was time to park it. Going out in public has been tough. I've gotten used to it during the day, but going out on a night out is the toughest part for me. It might sound ridiculous to some people, but when you are used to having long hair, going out with this new hairstyle you didn't actually choose for yourself isn't easy. I just don't feel like myself. However, I am trying to embrace it. I've bought lots of cute headbands to try and make my hair look a little prettier, and I do feel better when wearing these. Again, this is what works for me. I'm getting tips off Brendan on gelling it, he has been helping me embrace the new hair since day 1 - 9th December 2016, through every single phase. I was strong enough to beat cancer, it's now time to have the strength to rock the pixie cut. As my friend told me, I fought damn hard to have hair again so it's time to remember that and be proud of my new look. Talk soon guys, LG xo
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So that's it now, on Monday the 24th of July, I completed my last radiotherapy session and what I hope was my last ever treatment for Breast Cancer.
In my previous post I filled you in on what Radiotherapy actually entails and how it was going. So, the first two weeks of radiotherapy weren't too bad, I was feeling a little fatigued alright and my skin was starting to go a pinky/ red colour but this was nothing in comparison to what was to come during the second two weeks of treatment. I was doing exactly as told, washing with the Simple soap and applying the Aqueous cream after treatment and before bed and sometimes extra times throughout the day to try and prevent my skin getting too damaged from the radiation. They say you really have to look after the skin in the area during radiotherapy and for 6 weeks after to try and prevent any infections getting in. The skin becomes so fragile during treatment. Unfortunately, despite all of my efforts, my skin got a right burning from the treatment. The first 15 treatments were targeting the whole breast, which meant that my skin was being burnt all over my right breast and under my arm. The last 5 were a boost to the area of the lump only. I still find it so mad how it works because you honestly can't feel a thing during it, like you wouldn't know you were being burnt but my God I never experienced anything like the burn I got over all from it. The nurses in St. James's are fantastic and always tell you if you are concerned about anything or you're in any sort of pain to just go and see them at any stage. Me being me, I was in and out to them a few times making sure everything was in order. I was prescribed a steroid cream, Hydrocortisone to try and take some of the heat out of the burn and calm it down a bit, it was so itchy. It helped a little but as the treatment went on, it was still very sore. It was really hard to sleep at night with it too. D'ya know when you get a really bad sunburn and you feel like your on fire and your skin feels all stretchy? Well it's exactly like that, if not worse. It was sore to lie on the effected side or my tummy, but even lying on the other side was uncomfortable because it felt like my skin was going to snap. I was sleeping with the windows wide open because I couldn't cope with the heat. If the weather was any way warm it got worse, I'd get a prickly heat rash on top of the burn. I was lying on the bed for radiotherapy towards the end of week 4 and one of the nurses noticed that my skin had broken underneath my right breast. I knew it was irritated but to be honest I wasn't studying my skin in close enough detail because for me, I found it difficult to look at what the treatment was doing to my body again. So once my treatment was over, I went over to my CNS (Clinical Nurse Specialist) to show her my skin again. She advised me to stop using the Hydrocortisone on the area that was broken as it would make it worse because it can have a thinning effect on the skin. She got me to look at it properly in the mirror so I would know whether it was improving or deteriorating. The nurse also dressed the area with a special dressing they use for patients going through radiotherapy. She gave me a little box of extra dressings to keep it covered over the coming days and she recommended that I wear a bra as little as possible. Over that weekend, my skin broke some more in another area and on the day of my last treatment the nurse dressed that area as well and gave me some more dressings to ensure I kept the area covered and allowed it to heal. It has improved big time since my treatment has finished, it's not as red or hot but it does still get itchy and my skin is peeling in other areas despite all the Aqueous moisturizer I've been lathering on. I also get sharp pains in my breast but this is normal as well according to my CNS. The other major side effect from Radiotherapy is fatigue. I began feeling more tired after the first week of radiation but it was really after the half way mark that it hit hard. Now I did have a hen party thrown into the mix, which probably didn't help the fatigue, but it was totally worth it and I would do it all again. There were two days in a row I just couldn't stay awake, one of the days I fell asleep on 4 different occasions throughout the day, and the next day I had 3 naps, and still managed to sleep all night. I never experienced tiredness like it. It just happens out of nowhere, one minute I could be feeling fine and the next it's like I've been hit by a train. Sometimes I wouldn't even be able to speak I do be that tired. I've learned to listen to my body more though and take the rests when needed. That is one piece of advise I would definitely give to anyone going through something similar - SLEEP. If you're feeling tired just sleep, it's normal and our bodies need it. From the very beginning I was told that Radiotherapy would be a walk in the park in comparison to chemo and I would breeze through it. Yeah for sure the side effects are minimal in comparison to the amount I faced during chemo, but at the same time I found radiotherapy to be tougher than I expected. Even though you can't feel anything happening physically during the few minutes of radiation each day, it's quite hard mentally I found. You're lying on the bed while the nurses do their job, measuring, setting up etc., and then during the actual treatment, and it gives you time to think about what is actually happening or what has happened up until this point. It's mad the thoughts that go through your head. Like I was literally lying there being burned, after effectively being poisoned and cut open in the months previous, all of which had to be done just to keep me alive. You wonder whether it's really doing it's job. For me, because the radiotherapy was the last phase of my battle, it made me think a lot about what I've gone through since my diagnosis the 25th October 2016. Physically I had fought hard but I didn't really realise how difficult chemo actually was until I took time to look back on it. At the time I was so focused on getting through it and getting better I wasn't actually thinking about what was going on. My goodness, what a rollercoaster that was. Looking at photo's of myself from during chemo is frightening and it's only now that I'm starting to look less sick and that I'm feeling a bit stronger that I realise how unwell I actually was. I lost my hair, my eye lashes, my eyebrows. I lost toenails, had discoloured fingernails, and I was constantly as white as a ghost. I piled on the pounds. I was having at least 3 injections a week because my blood counts were always rock bottom. My fingers and toes were constantly throbbing with pain, I couldn't peel an orange, button a shirt, it hurt to walk. My mouth and tongue were sore, and I had the most horrendous taste in my mouth the majority of the time which meant constantly carrying mints or strong fruity flavoured sweets to suck on to help it. I was nauseous and couldn't stand certain smells/ foods. I had countless sleepless nights, or the opposite, days where I could hardly get out of the bed. The list goes on. You'd think I'd just be happy it's all over and I'm out the right side of it, but unfortunately it's not that easy. Obviously I am happy I made it, it's just so hard to believe it's real, it's like I've woken from a nightmare.The only thing is, from talking to the nurses, doctors or people in a similar situation, it's totally normal for the mental side of things to hit hard once treatment and all is over. For the past 8-9 months, I've been in and out of hospitals/ doctors every week, it was like a safety blanket, and now that is gone. But, I will learn to live with my new normality again and I can't wait to get back to work and get into a proper routine again and really start to move forward, starting a new chapter as a stronger LG than ever before. Radiotherapy definitely brought on the emotional side of things more for me. On the last day of treatment, I was lying on the bed and I actually couldn't believe the song that came on. It was Coldplay's A Sky Full of Stars. My whole body was twitching to try and keep in the tears. I was afraid I'd move and the nurses would have to reset the machines. The Coldplay concert was one of the most incredible night's of my life, I genuinely couldn't believe I was there because there was a point back 9 months ago where I had the fear of dying and that I wouldn't make all of these events I had planned. I can honestly say I have a whole new appreciation for life and everything and everyone around me as a result of the last 9 months. So, for that song to play I thought it was just something else and I really finished my treatment on a high. Despite the low feelings that come with finishing treatment, it is so important to know that you're not alone, WE are not alone. It is hard, extremely hard, life with cancer and life after cancer but I'm confident in telling you that brighter days are coming. It is important to remind ourselves what we are thankful for, and for us survivors, the biggest one is being alive. There is a plan for all of us, whether it works or not is out of our control but for me moving forward, I plan on never taking things for granted anymore and to live for now, live in the present, not worrying about tomorrow but to actually just live. I think this is really good advice for everyone though, not just someone dealing with an illness etc. As cliché as it may sound, tomorrow isn't promised for any of us. Live in the moment. Be grateful. Don't have any regrets. Live. Laugh. Love. Just simply enjoy life. That's all for now guys. Even though I'm finished treatment, I will still be writing a few more posts, updating you on life after cancer, my hair growth progress etc. Talk soon, LG xo It's been so long since I've updated you all on the blog that I don't even know where to start and I almost forget how to type a post so bare with me. From the time of my diagnosis I was told I would have to have radiotherapy after my chemotherapy and surgery. Before I even started chemotherapy I met the radiotherapy team in St. James's. At that point, the Consultant thought I would need roughly 5 weeks of radiotherapy, 5 days a week, but a final decision would be made on this once I had completed chemotherapy and had recovered from surgery. He also told me that I would more than likely be staying in Dublin during radiotherapy. He informed us that there are lodges for patients to stay in out at St. Luke's in Rathgar and transport is provided in and out of treatment each day. You stay in the lodges Monday - Friday and go home for the weekends. I embraced it at the time and thought nothing more of it really as I had a fair bit to face before I even got that far. Once chemotherapy started, radiotherapy was completely forgotten about and it wasn't really brought back to mind until around the time of surgery. The length of radiotherapy treatment depended on how surgery went and how long the healing process was.
About two weeks after surgery, we met with the Consultant in St. Luke's Radiology Department at St. James's Hospital. He examined my two scars, on the breast and under my arm. He was very happy with how they were healing and said it was a very neat job carried out by the surgeons which was great to hear. The Consultant explained thoroughly what radiotherapy consists of, talking about the actual radiation itself and what sort of side effects to expect. I never want to hear the words 'side effects' again after the last 9 months lol. So, what are the side effects of radiotherapy? In comparison to chemotherapy this sounded easy peasy. No nausea, no vomiting, no diarrhea, no constipation, no hair loss. After 20 weeks of chemo I think I could face anything at this stage. I was told to expect skin changes (around the area) and fatigue, and those two side effects only. If I have a sore toe, a sore throat, a headache, anything else, that wouldn't be anything to do with the radiotherapy and it wouldn't be dealt with by them, it's back to the GP I go or to A&E depending on the severity of the problem. In relation to skin changes, the radiation can cause a burning effect to the skin around the area that is being treated, almost like sun burn. It can be sore and itchy but if I experience anything like that, as always, they have creams or medication to tackle the issue. I met with a nurse on a different day who talked more in depth about skin changes and how to minimize the effects to the skin. I'm not allowed to use any perfumed products or anything full of chemicals on that side of my upper body. I was advised to use Simple Soap in the shower and a moisturizer called Aqueous. It is essential to lather on the moisturizer when home from radiotherapy and before going to bed. I'm also not allowed to shave under that arm or use deodorant, disgusting I know, but I'm learning to deal with it. I am allowed use water wipes if I want, under the arm. All of these measures have to be followed for 6 weeks after treatment as well. I'm not allowed in a swimming pool or a jacuzzi again which is a bit of a bummer but I managed during chemo, I'll manage again. The fatigue is the big one with radiotherapy but because of my age we're hopeful it won't hit me as hard. The Consultant showed Mam and I exactly what would be happening during radiotherapy on his computer screen. You could see my upper body in a program on the computer. He explained how the radiotherapy would be directed solely at the right breast and showed us how they would not be touching my lungs or heart while carrying out the treatment. He also explained that I would not feel a thing during it and I would actually be questioning whether they did anything or not. The radiation itself would take roughly a minute but I would be there for about 20 minutes as the longest part would be setting the machine up to the correct measurements. The measurements would be decided in a CT planning scan which he had arranged for two weeks after my appointment with him. I mentioned already that the Consultant had suggested that I would be staying in the lodges at St. Luke's of Rathgar and he provisionally booked a bed for me in these but I decided myself that I would prefer to travel up and down myself as the more I thought about staying up there, the more I was dreading the whole thing. If I was going to be hit with extreme fatigue I wanted my own bed and my own home comforts. I wanted to be able to stay going to the gym as well as I'm making a big effort to try and shift all those extra pounds from chemo. Due to the success of my chemo and surgery and the fact there is no Cancer remaining in my body, the Consultant decided that 4 weeks radiotherapy, 5 days a week, would be sufficient. 15 to the whole right breast with a boost of 5 directly to the area where the lump was. Needless to say, I was over the moon with this. I would be finished in time for one of my best friend's wedding, what more could I want. The day of the CT Planning Scan came and I was actually in Belfast for a few days previous so we travelled directly from Belfast to the hospital. During this scan, I had to lie flat on the bed with my hands over my head, interlacing my hands around a little pole above my head. It's important to make sure you are comfortable for this as you will have to hold this exact position for up to 20 minutes a day. I was given 3 little tattoo's as they call them. 3 little permanent marks, which they told me would look like a freckle they're that small. I was given one on each side of my body around the breast area and one in the centre of my chest. Now, they are tiny in fairness, but the flipping ink is blue! I'm sorry now but freckles are not blue. So now I have a little blue mark in the middle of my chest that looks like someone drew on with a pen, it looks ridiculous in my eyes but to others you would probably need a magnifying glass to see it. I never thought I'd get a tattoo, and now I have three haha. The nurses were calling out measurements to each other, the machine was moving and they had their rulers out. They left the room to take some images in a room attached to where I was. It took around 15 or 20 minutes for this and then that was me ready to get going. I began my final phase, radiotherapy, on the 27th of June. I was a little nervous coming up to it but way more excited because this was it, the final hurdle at last and I was feeling strong again and ready to face it head on. Each day is the exact same. My treatment room is called Dodder. There are 4 treatment rooms, named after rivers, so there's Dodder, Liffey, Avoca and Grand Canal. I'm in the same room, Dodder, each day unless the machine is being serviced. Once I go in, I take off my top and bra and cover up with a sheet of tissue they provide. Up I hop on to the bed then and try and find the position I need to be in. This actually isn't as easy as it sounds because everything has to be so exact and precise, so the nurses recommend you to lie dead on the bed and allow them do any necessary movements. The appointment starts the same every time, with me confirming my name and date of birth. Laura Geoghegan, 7/5/92 just rolls off the tongue every single day, I'm telling ya I go to sleep with these things ringing through my brain. I'm not cracked I swear ha. The nurses are one either side, and have my measurements visible on screens in the room. They remove the tissue to see the tattoo marks. They might move me slightly or ask me to relax out my muscles etc. to ensure everything is spot on. The room does be dark while they get me in to position, and there are green lights shining on different areas as they move me or move the bed up and down.They call out measurements to each other, and talk about coverage and a few other things that I haven't a breeze about, but don't worry, I'll know by the end because I'm always asking questions. I'm one of those annoying one's I'd say, but I do be very interested about the whole thing and how it works, exactly like I was during chemo. Getting the position correct really is the longest part but so far it's been going really well and I've been in and out for my treatment in around 10 minutes max, it's great. Once they're happy with the position, the nurses cover my chest back up with the tissue and leave the room, turning back on the lights and pressing a button that has LMO written on it. This stand for Last Man Out, so the last nurse leaving the room presses this, signifying that the room is clear and ready for the radiation to proceed. I told ye I ask questions. For the actual treatment there's a loud enough noise and the sign lights up to say the treatment is underway. This stops and the machine moves to the other side with the loud noise happening again and the sign lighting again. They have music playing as well which is lovely because it makes for a very relaxed atmosphere. About 1 minute in total, it's all over and not one thing do I feel. I get dressed back up and head off home. The first week my appointments were in the afternoon but I requested earlier appointments from week 2 on as it would allow me to have the rest of the day to myself and this has been accommodated. They are all so nice in the Radiology Department and do their best to ensure everyone is happy with times. Today marks my 10th treatment so I am officially half way through which is just fantastic. I had one day last week where I was absolutely exhausted, I could hardly speak I was that tired and to be honest it frustrated the living daylights out of me. Just when I felt like I was getting back to myself I was feeling knocked again. I had become used to being a normal 25 year old again, so having to go to hospital every day again and not feeling as strong as I had been was annoying. Now, this was partly my own fault because I never sat still for a second during the first few days of treatment, I was constantly on the go and never took time to rest, something I now really see the importance of. I'm sleeping in the car on the way home almost each day and I'm trying to take time to just chill out myself because otherwise I'm going to end up running myself in to the ground and I won't be able to hack that at all. Fatigue is strange because it's not like normal tiredness at all and it just strikes out of nowhere, well for me anyways. I could be fine and then bang, I need to rest or else I'm like a zombie. I'm learning to deal with it though and I'm hoping it won't last too long after radiotherapy finishes either. My skin is starting to change slightly now as well but it's only slightly red which surely for half way through is a good sign. I'm seen by the Doctor or the Clinical Nurse Specialist each week to ensure everything is okay so they will tell me what they think when I see them tomorrow. All in all, there's no major complaints about radiotherapy so far, and it really is a walk in the park in comparison to chemo. There's nothing to fear about it whatsoever. Hopefully the next two weeks go as smoothly and then that is it, I'm officially freeeeeeee. Talk soon guys, LG xo So the whole reason for me setting up this blog in the beginning was to raise awareness about Breast Cancer and I've just realised I haven't shared with you yet how to actually recognise the various signs and symptoms of Breast Cancer.
Being totally honest at 24 years old I had absolutely no idea how to self-examine, nor did I ever carry out any self-checks and I'm sure I'm not the only person like this, young or old. Also, I say person and not woman, because men can actually get Breast Cancer too, maybe you already know that but just in case. I now see the importance of self checks and going to your doctor if you notice anything unusual so I really hope this helps you to do the same. In my case it was by pure chance that I discovered my lump. Brendan thought it was quite strange also and it was actually him that pushed me to go and get it checked. My lump was large, hard and could be felt the minute you touched the surface of my skin, however not all lumps are the same. Also, you do not necessarily have to have a lump to have Breast Cancer either, there are many other signs and symptoms of this disease. Having said that, not all lumps are cancerous either but it is important to get them checked out by your doctor. As well as the tumour in my right breast, I also have some small cysts but they are completely benign and pose no threat so they have been left alone. Here's a list of some things to look out for while examining your breasts: Changes to the breast itself
Changes to the skin
Changes to the nipple (in, on or around)
Get to know your boobs. Feel them regularly. Know what is normal for you. Make it a priority. If you notice any sort of changes to your breasts, please go and see your doctor and get it checked, it is so so important. I was extremely lucky to have went and got my lump checked when I did. Who know's what could have happened if I had just brushed it off and allowed the cancer to continue to grow in my breast? It doesn't even bare thinking about. I am one of very many young people diagnosed with Breast Cancer, a disease that most people associate with older women. Unfortunately this is not the case and it is much more prevalent in younger women than you may think. No matter what your age, I urge you to start from now, if you don't already, to check yourself regularly. I can thankfully say now I am cancer free but this doesn't mean I won't be checking myself. The Breast Care Team in St. James's hospital in Dublin will be keeping a very close eye on me for the rest of my days, with an appointment every 6 months to be checked. I will also be seen regularly by the Oncology Team in Tullamore Hospital for the next number of years as well. However, in between all these check ups, I am going to ensure to keep a regular check on myself as well, to make sure nothing has the chance to develop again. I've been following another girl throughout her journey against Breast Cancer and she started a campaign called #feelitonthefirst This campaign urges women to check their breasts on the 1st of every month and I think it is just fantastic so that is exactly what I am going to follow. Who's with us? I've shared some pics below on how to check yourself and what to look for. Stay happy and healthy guys, LG xo 30th May 2017:
I really don't know if I can put into words how I am feeling today but I'm going to try. Tomorrow is the 2 week marker since I had my lumpectomy and some lymph nodes from under my arm removed. I had been given an appointment to go back to St. James's to get my bandages removed, my wounds checked and hear the greatly anticipated results from what they removed. As I mentioned in my last post, the surgery removed the remainder of the tumour bed, the margins (tissue) around the tumour and some lymph nodes from under my arm. All of these were sent to be tested to see if the cancer was killed or if I would face some more surgery. Today was the day I would find out the outcome of these tests. I had convinced myself that the results were going to be clear. I was telling people that I already knew my results because I was adamant if I thought they were going to be clear going in to appointment that they would be. I've been reading 'The Secret' and basically what I've taken from it so far is 'to think positive things and positive things will happen', so that's the attitude I've been going with. Positive Polly has been present in all her glory over the past few days. Now, that said, Anxious Annie was trying to creep her way in last night in bed. I didn't sleep great but it wasn't even that I was completely worried. There was a little civil war going on in head, I was fighting with myself to not let Annie in, and sure then I could see time tipping on, and you know yourself when you're trying to tell yourself to go to sleep the harder it is to go to sleep. Anyways, I eventually got to sleep and really struggled to get up, I snoozed my alarm twice which is so unlike me. We were a three-ball for today's appointment, Mam, Dad and I. Daddy decided he wanted to drive my car because apparently it's like a 'Ferrari' in comparison to his and we could listen to tunes on Spotify. It's crazy how different these journeys are from those back in October/ November. Kate wasn't too bad of a passenger today, she's slowly learned over the past 7 months to not be screeching when she's a passenger. Just before we got to James's the funniest thing ever happened. In Daddy's eyes, another car was cutting across him, the other driver obviously thought Daddy was in the wrong lane and blew the horn at him. Paddy being Paddy got thick and blew the horn back at him and there was a bit of F'ing and blinding from him. Of course then the lights went red and we had to stop behind that car. Daddy took out my Irish Cancer Society pen and a packet of Motillium I have in the cup holder in my car, thinking he was a legend, he said he was going to pretend he was taking down the reg of the other man's car in case he was looking in the mirror. Well, I was absolutely weak from laughing. The next thing Kate turns around and says 'sure Patrick if he looks in the mirror he's going to think sure that lad is 70, anyone else would have just taking a photo of the reg.' As if I wasn't laughing hard enough. She absolutely fleeced him. We made it up in one piece anyways. There was a bit of hanging around this morning to see the Consultant but eventually we were taken in my the Breast Care Nurse. She told me walking down the corridor that it was all good. She removed my bandages behind the little curtain while we waited for the Consultant to come in to the room. They both looked at my wounds and said they were extremely happy with how the wounds are healing. There's one little area that's a little open so they redressed it. I've to check again in 3 days myself and either leave the dressing off or redress it before they see me again next Tuesday. I had a saroma under my arm so they said I would have to have it drained as it was in an awkward spot. Then it was news time. So...... Chemo had completely killed the cancer in the tumour. The margins were clear. My lymph nodes were clear. In the Consultants eyes, we received the best possible news we could receive today. "Laura, the cancer is gone from your body." I'm sure you can imagine the sighs of relief and the feelings of pure joy in the room once we heard this. If I'm totally honest, it didn't really sink in with me immediately. I was delighted with the news of course but the significance of it hadn't hit home yet. I had to go for an ultrasound after lunch and have the fluid drained from the saroma under my arm. We had a bit of time to kill before that so we strolled down the road for some lunch. Between the three of us, we began ringing/ texting our nearest and dearest. Everyone was just so happy for us all. I was really feeling the love. After lunch we went to the Irish Museum of Modern Art to pass some more time, but we were like three stooges going around and hadn't really a clue what to be looking at so we strolled back up to James's and waited to be called. It was time to get back in the blue gown for me, and Mam and Dad stayed in the waiting room. I was brought in for the ultrasound. The nurse removed the new dressing that was put on this morning and scanned the area. She could see the saroma. For anyone wondering what a saroma is, it's just a pocket of fluid that has been collected and the swelling looks like a ball from the outside. The doctor came in to drain the saroma and explained why these form. Basically, the lymphatic system (lypmh nodes/ glands) transfers excess fluids into the blood stream (or something along those lines). However, if, like me, some of the lymph nodes have been removed and are not there to carry out this function, the fluid gathers in the now empty space and collects to form a pocket. These can become quite large, painful and infected. Mine was sore and uncomfortable because of its positioning. The body needs to learn how to deal with this and how to function without these so by doing the exercises carefully and properly, I will be aiming to retrain my body on what to do with this excess fluid and to continue pumping it into my blood. The nurse gave me some local anesthetic which was quite painful, again because it is such a tender area. She then used a syringe to drain that excess fluid and the area reduced in size immediately. She said it didn't look to be infected but they were sending it off to be tested just to be sure to be sure. One of the nurses stood with me for the procedure, with her hand on my leg, making sure I was feeling okay and distracting me from what was being done. For a huge hospital, I genuinely could not fault one single staff member. Each and every one of them have been absolutely fantastic to us and they really do their absolute best to make you feel so at ease and relaxed at what is a difficult time. After the little procedure, I had to fly back over to the Breast Care Nurse so she could have a look and a chat with me. She redressed the area and we had a chat, just myself and herself. I asked her when I would hear the words that I am actually cancer free. It was then that I finally heard those words. She told me that I no longer have Breast Cancer, that I am cancer free. I couldn't believe it. She explained that I will still be having radiotherapy, but this is done as an 'insurance policy' to that breast to try and prevent the cancer coming back. We talked about how it will take time for me to trust my body again and I will be watched like a hawk between appointments with them and Tullamore. She explained that if I make it through the next 5 years without any hiccups that's a really good sign for the future but to try and forget that for now and just take from today that it is the best news possible I could have received, that I am finally CANCER FREE. The nurse said straight out that she knew it hadn't sunk in properly, but as we discussed it, the reality of it was slowly beginning to sink in. With tears in my eyes, I thanked her for all she has done for me and she was genuinely so thrilled for us. We went down to Mam and she congratulated us as a family and it was time for home. It took me a while to actually say the words that I am CANCER FREE to Mammy and Daddy because even though I know they would have been happy tears, I didn't want to start crying. I am completely overwhelmed today, and I am a ball of emotions. I'm excited, I'm tired, I'm happy, I'm emotional, I can't even explain it. Anyone who has gone through this themselves or who will face this feeling will know exactly what I am talking about. I'd love to be able to bottle it and share it with others. It is honestly THE MOST INCREDIBLE feeling I have ever experienced. Roughly 7 months ago I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, and for the past 7 months I have fought the toughest battle of my life. There's no point in me saying it's been an easy one because it was far from easy, but I'll tell you one thing, it was totally worth it. Even though its been a long, tough, crazy roller coaster of a time, I have so much to be grateful for because of my diagnosis (I'll save this for another post). I am just completely over the moon today and I think I'll be on cloud 9 for quite a while. Today's news will make the Mini Marathon on Monday all the more special. Thank you to everyone of you for your donations so far and we will be ever so grateful for any more that we receive. The link is shared on my page for anyone who'd like to donate online. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for your continued support for both me and my family. We will be forever grateful for everything, no matter how small or big the gesture, messages, well wishes, prayers, cards, the list goes on, thank you all, near and far, it was with the help of your support that I overcame this hurdle. Next up for LG is the Mini Marathon, recovery and Radiotherapy, and as always I will keep you posted. Talk soon, LG xo 5th May 2017:
Before any surgery, I had my pre-op talk with the Breast Care Nurse in St. James's and some more tests to make sure everything was in place for the 17th of May. Myself, Mam and Brendan went to Dublin for this appointment. The Breast Care Nurse sat with us for almost an hour going through every step of what was to happen and answered any questions we had. The plan was that they were going to carry out a lumpectomy and remove some lymph nodes. As I mentioned in previous posts, I was fortunate enough to not have to have a mastectomy. Doing the chemotherapy first was a success and reduced the lump to next to nothing, meaning they could just remove the remainder of the tumour and some tissue around it. The team also decided to remove some lymph nodes and send them for further testing to be extra sure the cancer had not spread any further. The Nurse explained in detail what would happen and drew diagrams to help me visualise the procedure. She gave me advice on things to bring with me for my stay and tips on how to get through the recovery process at home. She advised me to ring the hospital the day before to see if there was a bed available for me to stay the night before the surgery. If there wasn'r a bed available it wasn't a big deal, I could just go up on the morning of the surgery for 8 o' clock. The nurse gave me some numbing cream and some plasters to put on my nipple after showering on the morning of surgery. (I'll fill you in on why this was needed later on.) I was told not to wear any jewellery, fake tan, make up, nail varnish etc. I wasn't allowed to shave under that arm from that day either and no deo or anything from the day before surgery. The nurse recommended bringing button up pyjama's and tops for post-op, something an aunt of mine had mentioned and one of my cousins had already actually gone and bought me a suitable pjs for this reason. It was essential that I would fast from 12 midnight, the night before surgery, and to make sure I didn't even have a drink of water on the morning of the op. The biggest question I had for the nurse that day was not actually about the surgery but about the gene testing I had carried out. I was anxious to know what it would mean if my genetic testing came back positive. Basically, if those tests came back positive for the BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 gene it would mean that I would have a lot of decisions to make. I would be at 70% to 80% risk of the cancer coming back, either in the form of breast cancer or ovarian cancer. I would then need to decide if I want to have a family, consider having it sooner and then consider having my ovaries and both breasts removed. This was very frightening to hear and was something that I couldn't get off my mind until the results came back. About one week after the pre-op talk I got the phone call with the results. Luckily enough, those tests came back negative and I am not a BRCA 1 or 2 carrier. There will be further testing carried out to try and find out why/ how this happened to me but it won't be for a while down the line and there's no point in worrying over it now anyways because they don't actually know what it could show or mean for me. It's just such a relief to know that I am not currently facing any of those decisions at such a young age. After our talk, I went and had a chest X-Ray and I had my bloods taken to ensure they were back to the right levels after chemotherapy. It was the usual ritual then after the hospital, Liffey Valley for Penneys and food to make sure we were happy campers going home. The closer it was getting to the operation, the more nervous I was getting. There were a few things to be carried out the morning of the surgery before the actual surgery itself. I was very anxious about being on my own. I sometimes forget I'm an adult and expect Mammy to be beside me for all of these things. If I was spending the night before in hospital that would mean I would be by myself from the evening before, overthinking and worrying about everything. I lost a fair amount of sleep in the run up to the surgery. I don't even know what does be going through my head but it does go into overdrive sometimes. 16th May 2017: The day before my surgery. I barely slept the night previous. I swear I was only after falling back to sleep and my phone started to ring. A Dublin phone number. I knew it was the hospital straight away. I thought they were ringing to postpone my surgery, my heart sank. I was supposed to ring them about a bed, but the lady in admissions was actually ahead of the game and rang me to tell me they had no bed and I would have to go up the next morning. Secretly I was delighted because I was really dreading being up their on my own for the night and all morning before surgery. Between packing and doing bits with the girls and Brendan, the day flew by and I didn't have a second to think about it. Exactly what I wanted. When I was packing, I was picking out my favourite pyjama bottoms. I just happened to ask Mam if I'd be wearing the blue gown and then my pj bottoms because that's what I assumed would happen. She started to laugh and told me I wouldn't be wearing anything only the blue gown and a paper knickers. She said the knickers was like a shower cap. I burst out laughing and thought she was messing. Daddy heard the commotion and asked what we were laughing at. I told him, but never mentioned the bit about the shower cap, and he said the knickers was the very same as the caps they wear in the factory. They also said I'd have to wear those big long socks and I couldn't even draw on eyebrows. I don't know what I was thinking but I really hadn't a clue. I had a long, hot, candle lit, bubble bath and read some of The Secret, a great book one of my best friends bought me about positive thinking and the law of attraction, to calm the nerves before bed. As expected, I didn't really sleep that night either, but I was so much happier to be at home in my own bed than in a ward in hospital because I would probably have been crying my eyes out up there. 17th May 2017: Operation Day. I was awake from 4 so I beat my 5:45 alarm. Up I got and jumped into the shower. I did as I was told and made sure not to use any body washes or deodorant. I had to put on the numbing cream around my nipple then. I squeezed the tube and nothing came out, so of course, I squeezed it harder and the next thing it came flying out and destroyed my bed. It was gas though because it formed the shape of the Nike tick on my bed, their trademark 'Just Do It' tick. I took that as a sign that 'I could do it', no matter what this day would bring. I used the clear plaster I was given to cover the cream around my nipple. I got dressed up and came down with my suitcase. Daddy was laughing at my big suitcase for one night in hospital, but I packed in case they kept me more than one night. I'd rather have too much clothes than not enough. Mam, Dad and I left for the hospital around 6:20. As ye know from previous posts, Mam isn't the best driver. Well, she's not a great passenger either. Daddy was driving and I would consider him a very good driver. Mammy on the other hand would cause an accident as a passenger with her 'leppin and hysin' (excuse the bogger speak haha). She actually nearly gave me a heart attack at one stage, and Daddy as well, when a car came across into the lane in front of him, even though there was a mile of room. We had to tell her to stay quiet for the rest of the journey or we wouldn't even make it to James's. We arrived just before 8 and went to admissions. I filled out some paperwork and was brought to the discharge lounge to get ready for the day. I thought she made a mistake when she said the discharge lounge but no that was where I had to go and there was another lady prepping for surgery there too. We met the loveliest nurse over there and she made all the difference that morning. She made me feel so at ease and she made sure Mam and Dad were happy out too, getting them tea and bickies and all. She ran through a checklist with me, and told me I was the perfect patient. Basically, I had listened and had taken heed to everything I was told at the pre-op talk and I did what I was told. She took my temperature, blood pressure and weight and informed the team I was there. First up, I met one of the reg's, part of the Breast Care Team. He ran through how the day was going to run and gave me a little tattoo to mark the side that would be operated on. Then, I met another reg, who went through any other questions I had or they had for me to put on my file for my admission. The Breast Care Nurse came and got me then to start the day's procedures. Mam was allowed to come with me and I was delighted with this, as I wasn't on my own. I got into the little blue gown and went for the first procedure. The first thing I had to get done was, I had to get a wire inserted into the tumour to make it easier for the surgeons to find it on the operating table. I had an ultrasound to identify where the tumour and marker clip were. I was given some local anesthetic to numb the area first and then the wire was inserted. The local anesthetic was the sorest part, I barely felt them putting the wire in. Then I had a mammogram to make sure the wire was in the correct place. Thankfully it was, so that was the first job done and I went back out to wait with Mam. We took some silly selfies on Snapchat using the funny filters to pass the time. I was brought then for the next procedure and this was why I needed the numbing cream. I had to have 3 injections into my nipple. I was injected with nuclear medicine. This was a radioactive dye that would travel from the nipple up to the lymph nodes, again making it easier for the surgeons during the surgery. My lymph nodes were too close to a blood vessel so they couldn't place a wire in to mark them. The Breast Care Nurse said that this was the one part that scared most women the most but was in fact the easiest. And she was right. I honestly couldn't feel a thing. I knew the nurse was injecting the first time because she told me so I was aware, but I genuinely never felt a thing for the second two. It took all of a minute I'd say to get the three injections and I was back with Mam again. I was told to stay in the gown and we strolled back to the discharge lounge to Daddy. Everywhere we go he either meets someone he know's or gets chatting to someone, and more often or not they know someone he knows. This time was no exception. He was chatting away to a man by the name of Jerome O'Shea, a former Kerry footballer, father of the rugby player Conor O'Shea. I took their photo and Daddy was delighted. It was time then for me to get changed fully, so I was down to just the gown, the paper knickers and the long sexy socks. I looked hilarious if I do say so myself and there was plenty of sneering done. I was put up on the trolley then and wheeled off for surgery. Mam and Dad walked with me and were with me right up until I was going in to the anesthetists room, which was great because I wasn't alone at all for the morning. A bit of a side note here, but when I was younger I had to get grommets in my ears. When I was being brought to theatre and saw all the staff in their scrubs, I jumped off the trolley and made a run for it. Mam had to catch me and they put me to sleep in her arms. As you can imagine she was balling. But when I was being wheeled up this time and saw the amount of staff again, that feeling of fear came over me again and I could see exactly why I legged it the last time. I was very brave this time however and stayed in my bed haha. I signed my consent form, gave Mammy and Daddy a hug and kiss and I was brought off. I was wheeled into room number 7. Lucky number 7. The date I was born. The second sign that things were going to go well. Two nurses got me ready for the anesthetist - put in my cannula and put on all the little patches for the monitors or whatever they were for. In she came, she shot something into my hand to 'relax' me and an antibiotic and that's all I can remember. I was woken by the nurses trying to close the support bra on me. A big ugly bra with velcro straps on rhe shoulders, that zips up the front. Something I have to wear for 2 weeks after surgery. As they were wheeling me to the recovery room they asked if I was feeling okay. I was a little panicked at how sore my throat was and the fact I could hardly speak. I wasn't expecting that at all but one of the nurses told me that was normal and could be sore for several days afterwards. I was pumped with painkillers so I couldn't really feel anything where they removed the lump, under my arm was a little sore but nothing in comparison to what I was expecting. I was up to the recovery room around 3. I was absolutely starving as I was fasting from 12 the night before, but realistically since my last meal at 8. I wasn't allowed eat for a while though. Eventually one of the nurses said she'd give me a drink of water because I was extremely thirsty. Well, ya'd want to see the little size of the bottle she gave me. I nearly fell out of the bed laughing when I saw it. It wasn't the size of my baby finger. The funniest thing was, after all my laughing, I couldn't even drink it all in one go. I was kept in recovery until 7ish as my bed wasn't ready. Mam and Dad were allowed in to me eventually because I was on my own and they were waiting to see me before they went home. I was given a sandwich and some juice in recovery so that kept me quiet for another while. Brendan landed up too and he came to recovery to see me also. He wasn't long there and they moved me to my bed in the ward. Mam helped me get dressed and Dad went to get me some food in the shop. Once I was settled for the night they went home and Brendan stayed to keep me company for a while longer. When Mam and Dad got home, Mammy text me to let me know they were home safe. She also text me to say that they were very proud of me. My heart melted a little, and I replied to say how proud I was of her too, and told her that both her and Daddy were so strong for me. I had the best two people beside me for one the scariest days of my life, and I'm sure they were just as scared as I was but they really held it together for me and ultimately were the reason why I was able to face it with strength and courage. My blood pressure was very low before bed so I had to drink a lot of water to try and get it back up. I asked for a sleeping tablet because I knew I would have difficulty sleeping in the ward. The nurse forgot to give me one and as I expected I didn't sleep for long at all. I caught up on Home and Away and I watched The Heat. 18th May 2017: One day post-op. I was woken then at 6 for the painkillers round, followed by the obs check, I had my bloods taken and then it was breakfast time. I couldn't really eat, so I just had half a slice of soda bread. The team came to see me and told me they were pleased with how things went and I could go home, once I had been seen by the Physio and my Breast Care Nurse. I got up and ready for the day. I couldn't wait to put on make up because I felt like I really had the 'sick' look on me in the hospital. The Physio came to see me and ran through the do's and don'ts for the next while. I'm not allowed to drive for 2 weeks. I'm not allowed go to the gym or do any running for 6 weeks. I have a set of exercises to be carried out 3 times a day. I'm not allowed carry out any tasks that involve repetitive movements such as ironing, hoovering, painting etc for roughly 6 weeks either. I have to be extra careful with my right arm for the future as they have removed some lymph nodes, meaning fluid can build up and my arm could become permanently swollen. She advised me not to shave under that arm any more and to use hair removal cream to avoid any nicks. Any more when I have to have blood taken or get my blood pressure checked, my opposite arm should be used. I have to avoid leaving a bobbin on that wrist, or anything tight. She said she'd run through the exercises with me and we both started to do them together. As usual though with me there is never a dull moment and I got weak. I thought I was going to be sick/ pass out so I had to sit down. Even sitting on the bed, the room was still spinning so the Physiotherapist asked me to lie down and just watch her do the exercises. I had to stay a little longer to make sure I was feeling okay again before I could go home. The Breast Care Nurse came and sat with me for ages, chatting me about recovery and all things post-op. She also took the time to sit and talk to me about how I feel and any fears I may have which I just thought was so lovely. I have to say I could not fault the staff of St. James's Hospital. Each and everyone of them were so kind and caring towards me and my family and Brendan, at every single appointment I have had. Having a supportive team in the hospital really helps and they have been fantastic in James's. I'm a lucky gal. I was discharged around lunch time and given a prescription for different pain relief at different strengths to cope with the pain over the coming days. We stopped for food on the way home but no Penneys this time as I was exhausted and dying to get home to my own bed. I've been absolutely shattered since the surgery. I'm following the Physio's orders and doing the prescribed exercises and 30 minutes walking a day, but other than that I haven't been doing much else only relaxing. I had the most fab girls night in on Saturday night, eating junk food and having spa treatments done with the excellent Ciara from 'Ciara's Pamper Nights In', I would highly recommend her. The pain has been a lot worse over the last two days and I have noticed under my arm has swelled. I rang the Breast Care Nurse and she said that this was normal as the numbness is probably only really wearing off now and the swelling is soft. I have to keep an eye on it and keep check on my temperature to ensure there is no sign of infection. I went back to taking the strongest of the painkillers I was given. I am back up to meet the team to get my wounds checked and the bandages off and for the results of what they removed during the surgery this day week, the 30th May. Hopefully everything comes back clear and I won't have to have any further surgery. There are 6 margins around the tumour and if any of them test positive for cancer cells they may have to go back in and shave down that margin or if all 6 are positive there will be a bigger operation. Likewise if the lymph nodes come back cancerous they will have to go back in and clear all the remaining lymph nodes under my arm, which can lead to bigger complications down the line. But I know myself that everything will be clear. I can feel it. Think positive things and positive things will happen. I have just under two weeks to get myself going for the Mini Marathon, having been given the all clear to walk the 10K. All going well, the recovery process is about 6 weeks and then it will be full steam ahead for Phase 3: Radiotherapy. This was a ridiculously long post, I'm sorry there was just so much info. If you made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read it. Hopefully there's some useful information in there for anyone facing a similar procedure. I will update you all with the results ASAP. Bye for now guys, LG xo
As many of you know, myself and the girls are taking part in this year's VHI Women's Mini Marathon and are hoping to raise much needed funds for Dóchas Offaly Cancer Support Group.
Before I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I never really knew much about Dóchas, nor did my family. When we went in for the education talk back in November, the nurse mentioned it to us but we still didn't know a lot about what they do. It was when I started to loose my eyelashes and eyebrows that I actually went in to the Dóchas Centre in Tullamore. I was googling, searching for techniques on how to disguise the fact I have no brows or lashes and came across a forum where they mentioned going to your local Daffodil Centre because sometimes there are different workshops provided for that sort of thing. Myself and Mam were in town doing the grocery shopping and decided we'd tip up that way. We went in and were warmly welcomed by a lovely lady, who brought us in to sit down and go through the services they provide. We went in to their lounging area where people can meet to have a cuppa and a chat in the comfiest armchairs and couches. We discussed all the fantastic services they provide and myself and Mam filled out a little checklist of all the things we would be interested in. One of the many excellent things about Dóchas is that these services are not just for the Cancer patient, but the family also. They are aware that the family are going through every step of the journey with the patient and it is an extremely difficult time for them as well. So as usual, Mam tagged along with me and really benefited from their support as much as I did. The Dóchas centre in Tullamore has fabulous facilities and is really is a safe and confidential environment to receive much needed support at a tough time. It looks like a small enough building from the outside, but inside there are many different rooms with various purposes. There's the lounge area, a kitchen and treatment rooms to name but a few. Dóchas provide a wide variety of wonderful services such as reflexology, massage, reiki, bio-energy, counselling, mindfulness, indian head massages, acupuncture, art therapy, arts and crafts, knitting, music therapy, pilates and various support groups. The list goes on. As regards myself, I have been attending Dóchas since the new year. Myself and Mammy were receiving reflexology treatments weekly, when possible. We were both taken together, in two separate treatment rooms by two very friendly ladies. Each week we would go in and chill in the lounge area for a few minutes before and/or after our treatment. It's really nice to get talking to other people in a similar situation and talk about how things are going along the way. Dóchas run many events throughout the year in a bid to raise funds. We attended this years Glamorous Buttons and Bow's event in the Tullamore Court Hotel and had super afternoon bargain hunting. I came home with lots of nice little purchases. If you get a chance to attend a Glamorous Buttons and Bow event, it's a brilliant alternative shopping day out, while helping a local charity along the way. One of the function rooms in the hotel is full of stalls, with people selling clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery etc. You pay to have a stall but any profits are your own. Maybe next year we'll have our own table, who knows? The original reason for me going in to the Dóchas centre was because I had wanted to learn how to make it look like I have eyebrows and eyelashes. Dóchas ran a fabulous evening recently in the centre along with Boots to help women with techniques for masking some of the visible physical effects of treatment. Some of the girls from the Benefit and No7 counters were there on the night, giving beauty tips and tricks, providing demonstrations and sitting with each individual going through our own personal needs. Myself and Mam had a great evening at the event. We all received a Benefit set and a make up lesson with them, and a No7 set and vouchers. I was lucky enough on the night to win a beautiful hamper with lots of class goodies such as perfume, make up and body lotions. It really was a wonderful ladies evening. Dóchas Offaly Cancer Support Group is completely voluntary and rely solely on public donations and fundraising. They do not receive any government funding. The centre is open from 10-2 Monday - Thursday and there's a group of the nicest ladies you will meet giving their time to provide this fantastic service. If, like me, you didn't really know much about Dóchas, I hope reading this blog post gives you a little insight into some of the fantastic work they do for Cancer patients and their family. I cannot actually praise them enough and this is why myself and the girls are trying to raise funds for them. I will be forever grateful for the tremendous support we have received along the way. Once I get my surgery out of the way, I'll be back in for more treatments. If you would like to help us with our fundraising, I have included the link below or you can give a donation to any of us personally as we have sponsorship cards too. Every donation, no matter how much, will be greatly appreciated and go along way. I have also included a link to the link to their webpage below for anyone who would like to have a look. Thanks in advance, LG xo
https://www.gofundme.com/lg-gang-mini-marathon-for-dochas
https://www.dochasoffaly.com/
After 15 rounds of chemotherapy, it was time for the moment of truth, had it done its job and reduced the tumour in my right breast? Just to refresh you all, at the very beginning of my Cancer journey, it was decided that I would have chemotherapy before any surgery in the hope that the chemo would reduce the large tumour. Due to my young age of 24, the consultant was hoping that this would allow for a smaller surgery, maintain the shape of my breast and avoid a mastectomy. I had a marker clip inserted in the tumour before I started chemo in case the tumour completely shrunk, they would know where it had been originally.
On Friday 21st April, less than 2 weeks after finishing chemo, I was back up to St. James's Hospital Dublin for my ultrasound and mammogram to see if the chemo had made any changes to the tumour. My sidekick, Mam, came with me. I honestly couldn't believe we were back up there, it felt like no length ago we were there for my diagnosis and all the tests and appointments that followed. We were nervous of course but we were hopeful, as I was no longer able to feel the lump, we were hoping this was a good sign. It was a very quick and smooth visit to James's this time around. Mam stayed in the waiting room and I headed off to get into the swanky blue gown before heading for the mammogram first. The nurse brought me in for my mammogram and she remembered me. Then again, how could she forget me? I was the one who caused the big scene and passed out, banging my head off the fecking machine on the way down. Only I could do it. Anyways, no hiccups this time, we got the pictures on the first go from both angles. For anyone who doesn't know what happens during a mammogram, I'll fill ye in. The easiest way to describe it and how we explained it to Fi is, it's like putting your boob in a sandwich toaster and its clamped down while the nurse goes and presses some buttons on a computer to take the pictures needed. Obviously it's not hot like a sandwich toaster haha but ye catch my drift? It's not as sore as it sounds either, but it is uncomfortable and there's quite a bit of pressure on the area. It takes a bit of maneuvering for the nurse to get you in to the perfect position, moving arms, shoulders, hair and chin (or chins in my case at the minute lol) etc. I had to get it done in two different positions, one to the front and then one to the side. After the mammogram, I was brought for my ultrasound and I had the same nurse who performed the first ultrasound that showed the Cancer back in October. This time around it was a completely different experience. The nurse actually showed me the ultrasound. I wasn't lying on the bed scared out of my wits because once the nurse found the marker clip, she allowed me to watch the ultrasound and showed where the clip was and how there was nothing showing up around it, meaning the tumour had shrunk! She checked my lymph nodes too and they didn't seem as swollen as they had done back at the beginning either. She took the photos to show their doctor and she came back to tell me that there was a COMPLETE RESPONSE to treatment, an absolutely incredible feeling hearing those words. She told me the team would meet and examine the images further. I couldn't wait to tell everyone. I got dressed up and went to get Mam. She couldn't believe it when I told her. I knew by her she wanted to cry but she fought the tears. Mam asked me not to tell everyone just yet in case the consultant would tell us something different when we were back up for results. We skipped back to Liffey Valley for some food and to hit Penneys as usual. I rang Paddy G to tell him the good news and he told me to tell Mam to whip out his credit card and get something nice, so needless to say we hit Penneys with a bang. Cheers Daddy. Today, 25th April, I was back up for the results of those tests and to meet the consultant. We were the very same as the Brady Bunch up there today. Everyone else is there sitting on their own or they had one other person with them, I had a small army, Mam, Dad, Fi and Brendan, but everyone was just anxious to hear the results as quick as possible. I was awake for a good part of the night last night, as usual. The good old 'scanxiety' as I've seen it been called in the Cancer world set in. Even though they were extremely positive on Friday, there is always that element of doubt. I was thinking about how I would react if I was told I had to have a mastectomy etc. We weren't as long waiting today as we had been on previous occasions which was great. One of the Breast Care nurses met me and gave me a consent form to fill out for genetic testing. The type of Breast Cancer I have is typically hereditary, however there is no history of Breast Cancer on either sides of the family. Sometimes there can be a mutation in the genes/ faulty gene, so they are going to carry out some further testing to see if they can uncover how I developed this Cancer. Myself, Mam and Dad went in to the little office with the consultant and the Breast Care nurse. After asking me how I was and how treatment went, he informed us that it was GOOD NEWS. We were absolutely delighted. All the scans were showing was the marker clip and the tumour bed. The chemo had done exactly what they hoped it would do and reduced the size of the tumour completely. He examined the area and explained a little on what would be happening in relation to surgery. He explained that the surgery will remove the clip, the tumour bed and some tissue around the area to ensure there is no Cancer left there. He said that sometimes the ultrasound wouldn't show everything clearly and when you go under the microscope during surgery they could see more. They will insert a wire, which I think he said was to mark the area for future reference. They are also going to remove some lymph nodes from under my arm as even though they weren't swollen on this ultrasound, they were a little concerned about them going from my original ultrasound. They will test those lymph nodes and if they show up negative that's great, if they show up positive, they will have to operate a second time and remove the rest but I'm not going to worry about any of that now at the minute anyways. He also said I am lucky with the positioning of where my tumour is. This means that they will be able to save the shape of my breast and scarring will hopefully be minimal. Isn't that just great to hear? I'm so happy! We organised an appointment for the pre op talk and for me to have my bloods, heart and chest checked. All going well my surgery is scheduled for 17th May. 3 weeks today I'll be getting ready to face it. I mentioned about the consent form for the genetic testing already. They informed us that there is some form of special testing going on in the UK at the minute and they have offered James's a few places for people to get the tests carried out. Of course because of my age, I am being treated as a priority at the minute, the consultant said I broke is record and I am actually his youngest patient. Not the best record to be breaking but it does have it's perks as I have been offered one of these places. Otherwise, my genetic testing in Ireland would not be carried out until 2018. Of course, I signed and had my bloods taken for screening. I'll get results for those in about 8 weeks they hope. Overall, we couldn't be happier with the results we received today. 5 very happy campers coming home in the car in comparison to the last time with all the tears and sniffles. This journey was full of laughs and driving criticisms. Poor Brendan couldn't catch a break. The timing of the good news couldn't be better either as we head off on our mini holliers to Killarney tomorrow and ahead of the bank holiday weekend. I'm sure a prosecco or two will be sampled. It's all systems go for Phase 2. Talk soon guys, LG xo Yesterday, April 10th, 2017, marked the day of my last ever chemotherapy session. I completed the last lap and finally made it across the chemo finish line. I don't think I could ever explain the feeling hearing that final beep from the pump and walking out of the hospital knowing that that was the end of the needles, injections, long waits and poison being pumped into me. I am finally on the road to full recovery. Hopefully it will be the end of the tiredness, the bloating and the hair loss. I am hopefully going to begin getting my body back, my hair should start growing from now, I can't wait to have lashes and brows again. I'm looking forward to having more energy and getting my life back on track.
I had a busy weekend with my friends and Brendan so Anxious Annie was left to one side and I really enjoyed myself. I didn't really have time to think about my last treatment over the weekend because everyone kept my mind occupied. I woke up Monday morning and the excitement was back. I was a little anxious when I woke up but when I thought about all I have come through over the past few months, the excitement was outweighing the anxiousness. It was only over the past few days and yesterday in particular that it actually hit me, what I have been through. The whole experience has just been so surreal and I realised on Monday morning it actually hasn't been a dream. It really happened. I have completed 15 rounds of chemotherapy in 20 weeks. Myself and Mam headed in early to get my bloods taken and on up to the Oncology Day Unit to get the show on the road. The nurse cannulated me and it went in on the first attempt. I took that as a good sign as to how the day would go. We had to wait a little while for my bloods to come back but thankfully they were okay for treatment to proceed. My haemoglobin levels had risen to 10.4 from 8.4 after my blood transfusion. I was kind of expecting them to be higher but once treatment could go ahead I didn't actually care. I dozed for about 15 minutes during the pre-meds as I was wrecked from the weekend and I had a late enough night Sunday night and then the early morning Monday. But once it came to having my actual treatment I was wide awake and constantly watching the clock counting down the minutes. Normally the hour would go fairly quickly, but yesterday I thought it would never end. Then, the machine started to beep and that was it. That marked the end of my chemotherapy. I gave Mam a tap on the leg and told her that was it, that was the last drop gone in and we had made it. What an incredible feeling!! I couldn't wait to leave the hospital but at the same time, it was tough saying goodbye to the nurses and the people we had made friends with in the Oncology Unit. You build great relationships throughout the journey and after all it has been a way of life for the past 5 months. I will actually miss the friendly faces. The teacher came out in me and I made gifts for the staff and gave them to the nurse who we met on the very first day. She has been just fantastic the past few months, as have each and every one of the staff in the Oncology Unit, both in the Day Ward and in Inpatients of Midlands Regional Hospital Tullamore. They really minded me like a baby and have been so good to myself and Mam, or whoever came with me on treatment days. They made the journey so much smoother and put us at ease from the very second we walked in those doors back in November 2016 not knowing what to expect. The nurse went off with the gifts and came back with tears in her eyes and called all the nurses around my bed showing the homemade gifts and card. Straight away they said about the teacher side coming out and they were all so appreciative. They have all been an absolute pleasure to be dealing with and I couldn't have looked for a better team to look after me, I was always sure I was in safe hands. I really cannot thank every one of them enough, and I will be forever grateful for all they have done for me and my family. We got back to the car and Mam said to me I should be letting lots of 'Yippees' out of me. Of course I had to get a little slag in at her. Over the past 20 weeks of chemo, it wasn't the treatment that I was worried about killing me, it was her driving. Now, she's not the worst, but she's not great. I have been photographing her parking along the way because brutal is the only way to describe it. She has been trying to reverse in to spots and always went for the same spot each week. She actually had been making good progress over the weeks but believe it or not it deteriorated towards the end. It was the highlight of each chemo morning having the laugh at the way she would abandon the car. It's the little things eh haha. I was on a high all day yesterday. I spent the day with my loved ones, family, Brendan and friends. We had Champagne for lunch, Prosecco and cake at the gym (great session at Mind Over Maher Fitness), and more Prosecco when I got home. It was a super day of celebrations. I did have to have a little nap in between because I was exhausted but I still kept her lit for the rest of the evening. It came to bed time then and I shed a few tears. Tears of joy this time though. I just genuinely couldn't believe that the final day had come and gone. We actually made it. I say we because I was not the only one on this journey. My family, Brendan and friends have been the most unbelievable support network and have lived through every step of this journey with me and I know will continue to do so through the next two phases, as I continue to beat Cancer. Like I mentioned already, it is so hard to put in to words how I'm feeling right now and I don't think I could ever do the feeling justice. Anyone who has been through this journey I'm sure could relate to this, and for anyone going through/ facing chemo, just know that the feeling you get on that last day makes it all feel worth it. In my eyes it's one of the biggest achievements I will ever have in my life, that and the day I (fingers crossed) receive the news that I am Cancer Free. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your continued support and for following me throughout Phase 1: Chemotherapy. For all the well wishes, cards, mass bouquets, gifts, texts and phone calls, I am extremely grateful. The support we have received, not just from the Little Town but from all over the country and world, has just been overwhelming and we can't thank you all enough. You are all part of the reason I made it through this journey with a smile on my face. Thank you for all your encouragement! For now, it's time to put my chemo days behind me and move forward. Next up, at the end of this month, are my scans and mammogram, followed by results and a decision for surgery, which should be held mid-May. I will continue to keep you informed through my blog. That's all for now folks, it's time to enjoy each chemo-free breath! Yeeeowww!!!! LG xo This is it, I'm at the last lap of my chemotherapy. 14 of 15 sessions of treatment completed. I'm facing into my last chemo, how unbelievable is that? Fingers crossed Monday will be my last ever session of chemotherapy. So why am I not feeling as excited as I would have imagined? Last week I was incredibly excited, I was buzzing at the thoughts of being finished so soon, but this week the excitement just isn't the same. Don't get me wrong, I am excited too but my feelings of excitement are being suppressed by feelings of anxiousness.
Up until this point, I've been flying through chemotherapy in my eyes. I've been hit with every sort of side effect you can imagine and I've dealt with it. No matter what was thrown at me, I wasn't going to let it get me down. I suppose I've been running on adrenaline the last few months. I never really stopped to think about what was going on. I had become so used to the routine of chemotherapy. It has been like a safety blanket for me. Now, here I am, facing into my last session of chemo and I'm starting to develop a fear, a fear I could never have imagined I would have. But I am actually getting scared to be finished chemotherapy. The security of going in each week to the hospital, knowing that the staff in Midlands Regional Hospital Tullamore (absolute angels in there) were going to do their best to help me beat this Cancer, is going to be gone. At least having to go for chemo every week you know that the tumour is being killed. But after Monday, I won't have that safety blanket wrapped around me anymore. I've turned from Positive Polly to Anxious Annie this week, and I have a million what ifs going around my head. What if the chemo hasn't worked? What if the tumour starts to grow again? What if the Cancer spread? The list is endless. I recently read an article about a lady who has the same type of Cancer as me and it was referred to as 'an aggressive form' of Cancer. This is something I completely forgot since being diagnosed. I had been so focused on getting through chemo and beating Cancer that I never even thought about it or never mentioned this fact in my blog because I genuinely forgot until this week. I think reading this is part of the reason I am so anxious this week. It is something that really stuck in my head and has me questioning the outcome of my own journey. Of course Positive Polly is still lurking around in the background telling me everything is going to work out as planned and not to be panicking, just Anxious Annie has decided to throw a spanner in the works and is making me question things that never crossed my mind before this point. The last lap is always the hardest I suppose and maybe I should have seen this coming. I mean if you go running it's always the last lap when you are at your most tired and really need the extra push to cross the finish line. That is exactly how I'm feeling this week. I only have a few days left and I need a major push to get there. My body is tired, physically and mentally. I currently have 14 rounds of chemo in my system and I believe the accumulation of it all is becoming tough on the body and mind. I don't have the same energy levels at all this week. I'm getting tired so easily and I'm sleeping like a baby at night because I physically can't keep my eyes open (not complaining about that though). I knew myself on Wednesday I was particularly weak and felt fairly miserable so I decided to get my bloods checked. My haemoglobin levels were very low so I received a blood transfusion yesterday. I was expecting to feel a lot more energetic today but unfortunately that hasn't happened as of yet anyways. I am hopeful however that over the weekend the new blood will give me another burst of energy to plough over the finish line on Monday. This blog post is a little different than previous posts but it is important to show the flip side too. It's hard be Positive Polly all the time and for anyone going through a similar battle to myself, you are not alone when you experience feelings of fear, worry, anxiousness etc. That's all for now guys. Hopefully Monday's post will be a much happier post once I have actually crossed the chemotherapy finish line. LG xo |
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AuthorLaura Geoghegan, a 24 year old, small town girl, Primary School Teacher, currently fighting Breast Cancer. ArchivesCategories |